Questions and Waiting

Sometimes it feels like all we are doing is waiting. Before we found out why we weren't conceiving, we were waiting to get pregnant. When we started seeing doctors, we waited for appointments, tests, and results. When we made the decision to start IVF, we waited for our fertility center's next cycle to begin. We waited for retrieval day and transfer day. We then found out we would have to wait another month for transfer. Transfer day came and went, and now we have the most anxious wait of all - pregnancy test day.

Transfer was Wednesday, today is Sunday, we have a preliminary blood pregnancy test tomorrow, and our definitive test is next Saturday. That's when we find out if the embryos (or at least one of them) took, and my body has started producing pregnancy hormones. These are the 10 days that will make it or break it for us. This is the time where every little thing I do makes me wonder if it is negatively affecting the embryos that were put in me:

Did I overdo it at the buffet while my father-in-law was in town this weekend?

Pardon the frankness, but I've had bouts of really smelly gas. Could that be a positive pregnancy sign?

Did the stress of trying to find a pharmacy that carries one of my many medications within driving distance ASAP do any damage?

Did the worry of wondering what I was going to do if I was a day late in taking one of my meds because a pharmacy might not be able to supply us in time do any damage?

I maybe felt a touch of queesiness last night... Is that a positive sign, or am I just reading too much into things?

When making an announcement to the ladies in church today, I burst out crying. Was this because I'm hormonal, or was it just because I was talking about something I really care about?

EVERY little thing gets micro-analyzed, and I know I'm not the only one who's gone through this process who has done exactly the same thing.

We hope for the best, but try to prepare ourselves to be ready for the worst. All the while I wish I could just scream and finally know the results!!! Even if it's negative, I want to be done with all the waiting and be able to move on to actual planning!

Excuse me while I go scream into a pillow!