The First Ultrasound

Finally got the call yesterday to come in for an ultrasound this morning!

Now we know we're expecting just one little bundle of joy, and even though I'm disappointed both embryos didn't take, I must say I'm relieved. I think we both are. We would have been ecstatic if it were twins, but we also knew it would have been a lot more expensive and a lot more work!

So one baby it is! 

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On a side note - as I lay in bed this morning waiting for my husband to wake up for our appointment, I was hit with a hunger so intense that I was almost nauseated. You know what I mean? So hungry I felt like throwing up, but there would be nothing TO throw up if I did! I had to snack most of the morning (healthy snacks! Dried cherries and light string cheese) before the sensation went away, but I sure was worried there for a minute.

I haven't experienced morning sickness yet, but I'm heading into the time frame when that's typically supposed to begin. I'm hoping beyond hope that it doesn't hit me hard, but I guess there are never guarantees!

Waiting For Our First Ultrasound

Yes, we have entered a new state of waiting, but this one is MUCH less anxiety-ridden!

This is happy anticipation, not constantly over-analyzing worry.

Now that I know the embryo transfer took and I am indeed pregnant, I can definitely feel a difference in the womb. For the first week or so it felt like fluttery gas bubbles, and now it's just starting to feel tight (the uterus itself on the inside, not my tummy). Nobody could tell from the outside, because as of today I'm only officially five weeks.

This period of waiting, however, has brought on one question I'm sure most women who get pregnant naturally don't wonder - is there one baby in there, or two?

As I've said before, we transferred two embryos, but we have no idea if one or both of them actually stuck. For now, when my husband and I refer to our potential offspring, we're constantly using a strange double-talk. The other day my husband actually used this sentence (in response to me asking what he wanted for dinner), "What do-does the baby-babies want?"

I'll go back-and-forth using the singular and plural, and my husband's getting antsy and keeps asking when we get to find out.

Patience, husband, patience. :)

The Results are In!

My husband has been really anxious for the past couple days, but I didn't really get the butterflies until we were waiting for the phone call with our day 10 blood pregnancy test results from this morning. He had to go into work today (and it's Saturday), so I fielded the call on my own:

Office Assistant: Do you have time to go over medication instructions?

Me: Of course!

OA: We're going to have you continue on all the same medications, and we'll have you back in on Monday for another blood test.

Me: ... Okay... Aaare there any results from the pregnancy test?

OA: Your HCG level is at 224

Me: ... And that means...?

OA: You are in the early stages of pregnancy.

I mean come on really... This is the news we've been waiting for for a long time, and you've gotta use terminology that doesn't really mean anything to me?

But anyhow, YAY!

I've been having waves of bad cramps when I stand up after sitting for a while, and lots of tummy flutterings. Other than that, not much.

Now the husband wants to take me out to a celebratory dinner! There are still other things that can go wrong from this point on, but at least the most unsure, anxious, suspenseful and sensitive part is behind us!

We were both having a really hard time trying not to let our hopes get too high, but now we can actually let ourselves start planning and start considering a whole different set of questions: How do we announce to the family and to everyone else? Did both the embryos stick, or just one? When will I start feeling more symptoms?

Here we go!

Questions and Waiting

Sometimes it feels like all we are doing is waiting. Before we found out why we weren't conceiving, we were waiting to get pregnant. When we started seeing doctors, we waited for appointments, tests, and results. When we made the decision to start IVF, we waited for our fertility center's next cycle to begin. We waited for retrieval day and transfer day. We then found out we would have to wait another month for transfer. Transfer day came and went, and now we have the most anxious wait of all - pregnancy test day.

Transfer was Wednesday, today is Sunday, we have a preliminary blood pregnancy test tomorrow, and our definitive test is next Saturday. That's when we find out if the embryos (or at least one of them) took, and my body has started producing pregnancy hormones. These are the 10 days that will make it or break it for us. This is the time where every little thing I do makes me wonder if it is negatively affecting the embryos that were put in me:

Did I overdo it at the buffet while my father-in-law was in town this weekend?

Pardon the frankness, but I've had bouts of really smelly gas. Could that be a positive pregnancy sign?

Did the stress of trying to find a pharmacy that carries one of my many medications within driving distance ASAP do any damage?

Did the worry of wondering what I was going to do if I was a day late in taking one of my meds because a pharmacy might not be able to supply us in time do any damage?

I maybe felt a touch of queesiness last night... Is that a positive sign, or am I just reading too much into things?

When making an announcement to the ladies in church today, I burst out crying. Was this because I'm hormonal, or was it just because I was talking about something I really care about?

EVERY little thing gets micro-analyzed, and I know I'm not the only one who's gone through this process who has done exactly the same thing.

We hope for the best, but try to prepare ourselves to be ready for the worst. All the while I wish I could just scream and finally know the results!!! Even if it's negative, I want to be done with all the waiting and be able to move on to actual planning!

Excuse me while I go scream into a pillow!